Beckham An Inspiration To Children Who Never Get Put In Game: Courtesy of The Onion

Whether intently watching the on-field action or waving to his family in the stands, David Beckham's impressive display of bench-sitting skills and off-field techniques since joining his new team has had a major impact on both the L.A. Galaxy sidelines and the millions of children who never get playing time. "He makes sitting on the bench awesome. I can't wait to not suit up for our next game," said Jeremy Parker, 9, who is not one of his soccer team's starting 11 players or even one of the seven substitutes. "For our next match, I'm going to dress up in my church clothes and try to hold my cup of Gatorade like Beckham." Leading child psychologists have applauded Beckham's positive influence, saying that as a role model, Beckham shows that it is not whether you win or lose, but how you watch others play the game.